My Beginning...

My Beginning

People will often ask me or at least countless counslers or rehabs.. So when did you depression begin? When did your addictions begin?

To be honest I do not even know if you look at this picture above I look happy right? The tan skinny girl with rocking a crop top halter. So What happened?

I was born on July 31 1972 as told later in life my mother was more then a month early and my umbilical cord came off and I lost 80% of my blood. I knew this from a early age and then started to ask questions that only a 6 year old would want to know? I was born of Catholic faith and the youngest of 6 I had the privilege of going to catholic school.  As my parents were digging and getting papers together I noticed I was baptized Catherine on July 31, 1972 (my birth date) and then had a later date of August 26th Baptized Lisa Ann.

So eventually a few years later I learned my father could not be found when my mother went into labor.  They finally found him drunk in a bar. My mother was under anesthesia so could not consent to my blood transfusion or to get me baptized. The wonderful nurse that saved my life signed everything and made sure I was baptized as I was expected to die within 48 hours. 

I Made it!!

So imagine keep being told that you should have died.. if it was not for that nurse I would have.  and I found out my father drank daily he was known as a functioning alcoholic.  A bottle of gin every day and only he could use the orange juice.  great story about that.

I  did not know as a young girl at 6 years old that the orange juice was for him and him only for his alcohol. I drank the pre-made cocktail and went to school and I was drunk!!! The nuns called my mother and said she is drunk!

So who was the blame? me.. I should have known not to drink it.

I think this is enough for now... 

This is my way of dealing with my depression and addictions.

I am not trying to feel sorry for myself but I want to get it out there that there are so many people dealing with depression and addiction and never want to admitt it to everyone. I am learning this is the first step in getting better!

I would love to know your story!

XOXOXO

Lisa

Still look happy right...

It is a mask.. and I wore it well...